Railroad ties and lullabies

Remind me of your lies

All the coin and plunder

Couldn’t muster

Up an apology to me

And I’m left here

On this mattress

Listening to you digress

And try and tell me

What happened to me

But I can only hear

Your seasonal excuse

Of what’s best for me

Sometimes I think

You want me to fail

To make your transgressions

Hurt a little less

But I see your scars

And you try and hide them

But my scars

Are a display cabinet

Because it reminds me

How I was just an organic vibrator

To you

A warm tongue for you

But your rejection is all I know

And I’ll be back for more

Because you’ve just become

A hollow place to fill

Isn’t that what you wanted?


After all is said and done,

I want the coffee stained fingertips

I want the sleep deprived headache

If it keeps me going

Homelessness will be my motivation

For these paychecks are small

And a means to an end

The bleach I use today

Will clean my slate tomorrow

The trap is coming closer

The more trash cans I empty

The more toilets I clean

The more carpets I vacuum


After I take out the trash

And I wipe my brow

I will get to the real work

I trade in my dustpan

For a keyboard

And a stiff drink

The longer I type

The harder it is to get up

I wish I could change my eyes

So they wouldn’t burn out

At 3 am

When it starts to get good

And I make all the bad decisions